Long lost…

I feel a little at peace tonight. I didn’t have many friends growing up. We moved around – a LOT. I was only in a school for a year or half a year… right up until middle school. In my second year of middle school, we finally settled down and I could make friends.

Even then though, they were not numerous. I truly believed in the quality of friend, not quantity. That year, I met two wonderful girls that helped make my life better for 6 years. One, luckily I’ve never QUITE fallen out of touch with, though our lives have carried us across the country and in different directions. It’s nice to know that she’s okay.

The other, I just found again. I was just getting ready to post a Happy Birthday out into the universe, when I thought to myself – I wonder… I’d checked numerous times, but she liked remaining off the grid. I’d never been able to find her before. Imagine my surprise when I type in her name, and she appears on Facebook. I almost cried to see that her posts were recent and that she was okay. After losing Justin, to not KNOW… To always wonder.

So when I received a response from her today, letting me know that she was okay and things were going well… just helped put my mind at ease a bit. She was the last person I couldn’t find. The last person I’d been worried about. I’d missed you, and even if there’s no meeting and catching up over coffee. Just knowing you’re out there is enough and that I’ll be here.



I’m out of eggs and didn’t know it. My mom’s been eating them and neglected to inform me of this. So I’m mixing everything together to make my AMAZING zucchini bread – she tells me. o.O  Thanks. So after dinner – I have to run up and get some, cause that’ll be breakfast for a week.

My eyes hurt today. They we’re so tired, that I actually brought my glasses with me to work. I don’t actually need glasses, but they cut the eye strain from the computer. I actually went to bed relatively early last night. But it occurred to me – I haven’t had caffeine since Saturday – it’s probably effects of withdrawal. leSigh.

I got up to page 96 in my book and so far like what I’ve got. At the same time, Nik and I worked out some good ideas for our other book. Now one of us has to tell our friend that we’re killing her character. I wonder if it will ease the blow to find out I volunteered my own character for death as well.
As a young person, still believing you can find the ideals of happily ever after in writing, Joss Whedon used to drive me crazy. You fall in live with a character, they make it to the end only to die a horrible death right before they have that chance. Curse you Whedon!

But I’ve grown up, and I understand. There is no fairy tales, there is no happy ending… Because nothing ends. It’s silly to ignore that just because you’re writing. So yes, I already have a few deaths planned out for my books. Death changes the people around you, gives them a reason to fight, or give up. Such it will be with mine.

I obviously can’t write while I’m at work… But I can come up with scenes. I’m not JUST running the folding machine, or scanning files. I’m having dialogue play out in my head. I’m watching a fight unfold, or building a new setting. I’ve been doing it for so long, I’ve gotten good at the split attention thing. And boy did it pay off today. I came up with a great scene to throw in. One that’s looong overdue, and hopefully won’t be too controversial.

After we get a couple books published, Nik and I were joking about going back and as a side project, pulling a “sliding doors” scenario with the stories. For those of you that never saw the movie, Gwyneth Paltro either misses the subway our makes it, and the story suddenly splits into what would happen in both cases.

Doing that with the one book, would effect the rest of the series dramatically. Like I said, it would be a side project, but a fun one.


I sit here writing, pounding away at the keyboard as I talk to my best friend on Google. I have my characters arguing and Nicholai looks over at his brother on the page. 

“Give me your shirt!” 

“Why should I?” Nathan replied incredulously.

“Because you have a change of clothes downstairs asshat!” Nicholai snapped. The scene froze and Nicholai turned in the empty office and looked up… off the page and directly at me. 

“Asshat?” he asked in his deep, accented voice. I glance around the office I’m sitting in. The ferrets passed out cold, snoring softly, the cats not even in here. I look back down.

“Wha… what?” I stumble.

He crosses his arms over his chest and glowers up at me. “Really?” I glance aside again then move to Google.

“I can’t quite imagine Nicholai calling someone an asshat,” I say to Nikki.

“No,” she replies, Nicholai is in Microsoft word, just shaking his head.

“Aria, definitely,”


“MAYBE Nathan,” 

“But not Nicholai, not a word he’d use,” she tells me.

“Yeah I didn’t think so,” I reply. Nicholai just gives me an ‘I told you so’ look. “Then what would you call him?” 

“I’d call him a fucking prick!” Nicholai bit back. 

“Oh well okay,” I say. -backspace backspace backspace- … you fucking prick,” The scene flares back to life and after a moments hesitation, Nathan pulls off his shirt and complies with his brother. 

“You should definitely have Aria say asshat,” Nikki tells me afterward. I laugh.

“I’ll work that in there somehow.” 

I wonder if this could be why I have problems staying focused while I write… hrm…  


It’s polite to share.

Things have calmed down a lot in the last couple weeks. Sure random problems arise, but that’s life right? But because of the crazy stress I’d been dealing with; my eye started twitching. It’s happened before, when I used to work at Toys R Us. It was happening so often this time, that it was starting to hurt.

Unfortunately, the things that cause it… Don’t make it easy to deal with. Stress, tiredness, dry eyes, eye strain, caffeine, alcohol, and allergies.

  • So stress, I can’t eliminate (though I wish!)
  • Allergies, they come and go.
  • Tiredness, well if I don’t work on my book till late, it’ll never get done.
  • Eye strain, I’m starting at the computer for HOURS, be happy I remember to wear my glasses in the evening.
  • Alcohol, okay I only drink maybe 2-3 glasses of wine a week, usually less. I suppose I can stop that.
  • Caffeine? I allow myself a single cup of coffee a day. Do I really have to give that up? But since it’s one of only 3 controllable factors, I guess so.
  • Dry eyes, well that’s ready enough I guess, come ‘ere eye drops.

Unfortunately the Keurig machine doesn’t like the decaf coffee I bought. Ugh, what a horrible cup. And I can’t afford to keep buying it from the corner station. So I need to replace my coffee worth another drink. Maybe the apple cider k cup. Lol

I filed my taxes last night. About what I expected. I’m still waiting to hear back from the bank about a car loan. I checked the website last night and it’s still pending. Come on GTE… I need a car and I don’t want to go broke for it.

So I surpassed 130k words last night. I didn’t even realize it. Glanced down and I was already half way to 131. So I reset my goal to 150. Since there’s a lot to take out, it’ll make me half to work harder for it. I also need to read back over what I did last night to make sure I like it.

I haven’t yet posted and clips for you. That just occurred to me. I’ve been so focused on the writing, I forgot about the sharing. Lets fix that. It’s not much – just a snippet.


Aria shook off the dream as she got up. She walked down the hall and knocked lightly on Nathan’s door. There was no answer. She opened it slightly and stuck her head through. He was sprawled out on his stomach, blanket falling off of both him and the bed. He was sleeping nude. Aria didn’t pause as she crossed the room, having showered with the man almost daily in the gym. As she reached the side of the bed, she did take a moment to admire the well-defined muscles running down his back and his exposed buttocks.

She sat down on the side of the bed and rested a hand on his good shoulder. “Good morning,” she called quietly. Nathan only grunted in response. “Good morning sunshine. Time to go shopping,” she tried again in a singsong voice. Nathan took a deep long breath and turned his head to look up at her.

“I don’t wanna go to school mommy…” he muttered, pulling his pillow over his head.

“But you DO want to go back on patrol don’t you?” she tried. There was a moment of silence.

“Yeah,” came muffled from under the pillow.

“Well we’ve got to prove you can do that,” Aria insisted. “Come on, don’t make me drag you out of this bed.” Nathan pushed the pillow up and gave the small woman an intrigued look.

“Good luck with that,” he said before pulling the pillow down again.  Aria got up and walked out of the room, deciding on a new approach. She made two cups of strong coffee, remembering that Nathan liked his sweet, and returned to the room. She could hear him sniffing the air from beneath the pillow.

“How about now?” Aria asked, holding one of the cups out. He looked at her from under the edge of the pillow and smiled. He pushed himself into a sitting position with his good arm and accepted the cup.

“Mmmm… good girl,” he said, taking a deep whiff of the strong brew.

“Come on and get dressed,” she told him as she walked over to his closet.

“What, you don’t think the patrons in the shopping district would appreciate me going out like this?” He asked her, letting the blanket fall the rest of the way to the floor. Aria chuckled and grabbed a pair of pants from a hangar.

“Actually most of them probably would, but you’d be breaching the public indecency laws,” Aria said tossing the pants on the bed next to Nathan. He stood up, placing the coffee on his side table and pulling his pants on while Aria grabbed him a shirt. He gingerly pulled the plain green tee shirt over his head. It didn’t take long for Aria to help Nathan get ready. They were out the door and heading down to the transport deck after fifteen minutes.

No ferrets in the bathroom!

My one ferret, Wedge, has a thing for going into the bathroom and tearing it apart. He tips over the trashcan, gets into the toilet paper and just makes an absolute disaster. And the minute he sees you going toward the hallway – he’s at your feet. 

I’ve been having really weird dreams lately. And numerous ones. Like I’ll drift off for 5 minutes and have a full dream. Gotta love that speed of thought. This morning I woke up to one. I was so tired I couldn’t drag myself out of bed. When I finally did – I got up, went pee and went to brush my teeth. Next thing I know, Ethan is at my elbow, waking me up. I’d fallen asleep brushing my teeth. When I finally DID wake up, I’m sitting in bed looking around like –  WTF?

The other night, I dreamt of a haunted house. Except we didn’t know it was haunted. It was affecting people – making them do really weird, creepy or evil things. But if you looked just right… you could see them within the mirrors and reflective surfaces. We were just running away from the building to formulate a plan when I woke up. I wish I could remember more – it was kind of cool. 

Just settling in to write… I think I have a plan set. I figured out the missing piece, so the rest should just fall together. *keeps fingers crossed* I HOPE it falls together. I’m really trying to stay focused on the book – REALLY REALLY trying… Of course I say that and here I sit writing in my blog. Hey – at least I’m writing. Noise cancellation ear buds in with some music – we’re set. Alright Mal, permaybehaps we should get writing.

You should be writing!

Just spent the last few hours over at Terry’s cousins first birthday. Such a cute little girl. It makes me want to have another one. Sometimes I do, sometimes I realize I’m quite happy with Ethan’s age.

I’m sure I’ll have to make dinner and stuff before I can sit down and continue working on my book.

I did some pricing for cover art. I do believe I’m going to have to get on kick start for those initial start up costs like editing, cover art and the purchase of an isbn. Once I do, I will link it directly to this blog and hope for the best.

I was browsing Facebook the other day, and stumbled over this.

My friend Colleen had shared it with me and a couple other friends that are writing. It made me stop what I was doing to start working.

In response – I have posted this one as my desktop image.

You’re right Mal… I’ll put WordPress away now…

Thank you

I would just like to give a quick word of thanks to everyone that has visited, read, liked, or followed my posts. I believe a lot of people don’t really stop to think about the impact they have on a random stranger. Since the first random like – it inspired me. It drove me to work harder, to want more, to not leave the next person disappointed. So to those of you that just read from time to time, thank you. Definitely check out the pages of these other wonderful people who have liked and followed me.

Urban Wall Art
My Other Voices
The Better Man Project
Weakly Short Stories
Lesley Carter
The Common Zense of St. James
Shannon Thompson
Wet Ink Press Publishing