Back to blank

So I’m sitting here, regretting that I’ve let this blog fall to the wayside. Okay, I realize I had a nice burst of posts when I started, and realistically, I haven’t ACTUALLY fallen that behind. I was trying to figure out the purpose of this blog the other day. And in the end, it’s just to help me voice my ramblings. To help alleviate some of the noise in my head so I can focus. Except… I’ve been focusing. So in a since, it’s more than served its purpose, and therefore doesn’t require a constant update. 

Writing has been slow going. I’ve hit the part of the book that is really only at a first draft level, so it needs  a lot of work and rewrite. And I’m SO tired of having limited time. What I wouldn’t GIVE to be able to make THIS my full time job. To be able to get up in the morning with a cup of coffee and sit down at the computer, pounding out page after page. 

I’ve actually done a bit of research. Research is my bane… but Nik pointed out that I can’t write “science” fiction without at least a little “science” backing. Blah blah blah… Ssshhh… don’t tell her she’s right, I’ll never hear the end of it. Unfortunately, I’m no GOOD at research. So I’m having difficulty finding the information I need to back up my global deterioration. I’ve put off further research till a time that my head doesn’t feel like it might pop. I can always change details later, it won’t effect the outcome of the story. 

Have you ever sat down and wondered why you keep trying? Keep fighting the same old battles? Mind you, I can only obsess over one thing at a time. Right now that happens to be the book, since I can’t seem to do anything about any of my other problems.

Don’t have the money for a new car yet, obviously can’t get up to NC till I get a car – oh, and money. My relationship has fallen into a stagnate puddle, I’m tired of asking and getting nothing in return. So what do we do about these?

Bury my head in the sand – er computer, and write. Smart? Nah… effective – sometimes. At least I’m accomplishing something. You feel a lot less useless watching those numbers tick off, moving down page after page.

Okay, back to more writing. All I wanted to do today was sit down and write, and now I’m sitting at the computer… and I’m back to blank. It’s a slow part, but I need to keep pushing, keep writing. My pillow is calling to me and I have to ignore it’s seductive whispers. I’d only regret it in the morning.  


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