Oh the things I came up with today. So all day my mind was wandering, full of great ideas. I couldn’t stop to get a single one of them down. It takes too long to take notes on my phone – I write ten times slower than I think… and I can’t exactly sit down at my work computer and write out story ideas.
Of course I get home… and I have things I have to do. Can’t jump right into writing… and now? Goodbye details. To be on this much of a roll, to have it flowing so freely for a change… only to have it blocked by work. Let’s face it, unpublished novels don’t pay bills, so I don’t exactly have a choice in the matter.
On the flip side… While the details might be gone… the ideas are still there. I’m sure as I work through them again, and again, and again – I can come up with something different than my daily ramblings.
I’m a crazy person when I’m writing. I wish I were kidding. I sit at work and mumble dialogue to myself. I’ll be out somewhere laughing at an idea that just crossed my mind. The car is the worst. Thank goodness for hands free systems- you don’t look as crazy when people think you’re talking on the phone now.
Of course I realize I’m escaping. I’m blocking out everything else and running away into the fantasy of my books. Dreaming of the perfect… well you name it; men, fights, destinies… I don’t have to stop and look at my life. Our two cars that are just waiting to fall apart… my empty relationship, the stress of taking care of my mother, the lack of money to really make anything happen besides live day to day.
We finish paying off our boss in March, which means our money problems dwindle incredibly. I am terrified… that I’m going to lose my writing streak. That I’m going to start working on getting a new car, fixing things that need fixing and everything else… and I won’t be able to write. Because I’ll only have a couple hours before bed, and it takes me a couple just to get into the rhythm.
Cupcakes should be done… yep, there’s the timer. Let’s go see.