Don’t judge me

So yes, I’m definitely debating on investing in Dragon Naturally Speaking. I have so many thoughts that run through my head on a daily basis that there’s no way I can capture them all. What I NEED is a telepathic thought recording device to nab them all… However I’m worried I’d be locked away in a padded room with a nice white straight jacket if half of those transcriptions ever made it to the public. But today was a good example, as I sped through dialogue to help me pass the day. I get home and sit at my computer and wonder… where do I start? My head is pulled in a hundred different directions and I need to choose ONE? Well… crud.

I could easily write it off as a business expense. It of course occurs to me that I will need an accountant by the end of the year. Bleh. All my years and I’ve been able to do it on my own… but business money? That’s a whole other matter. I really don’t want to mess everything up when I’m just starting out.

In other news – I went to the dentist. Surprisingly – I have great teeth. No cavities and just a bit of gingivitis. I have a cleaning scheduled in a couple weeks to take care of that. Hooray for being lucky! Cause let’s face it… I’m not saint when it comes to my teeth. Flossing? Forget it, I can’t even get floss between some of my teeth because of my wisdom teeth.

Oh, so what I decided to do instead of carrying on with the other book. I opened the other file that my friend is currently editing and I’m jotting down every item that could later become a discrepancy in the book/series and the page it’s on. That way I can make sure I go back and fix all those little things that might not quite line up. It’s not easy, or fun and I’ve already read this thing so much that it makes my brain hurt. I still have to go over it 2 more times. Once out-loud with Nikki so we can catch how it sounds. Then once I get it back from the editor. Of course… I need it back from Nikki so we CAN go over it. I would buy her an agenda if I thought she’d use it. For some reason she’s been perpetually against time management her entire life. 🙂

So… um… I kind of bit myself in the posterior – figuratively of course. You see, I have a few, rather detailed, racy scenes in Forgotten Guardian. So I sat down the other day and started working on ETC. As I mentioned in my last post, I felt it was a great idea at the time to make Tad and Ben lovers. And as they leaned in for their first kiss, it struck me… how the hell do I handle that? You write what you know – well I know sex between a man and a woman from experience. The only experience I’ve had with gay sex is cheesy porn – and let’s face it. We all know that’s not accurate. At least – not an every day encounter sort of accurate. It’s the sort of fantasy stuff that a partner might want to try sometime, but rarely get around to actually doing it. Sure I can take what I know about men and their tastes in general, in the bedroom and out… but can that properly translate? Changing that around… if I were a gay woman… I would still be the same person… I would just prefer women over men – so I want to say yes… but what if I’m wrong.

Terry suggested leaving it out entirely. I think the idea of me actually writing about gay sex strikes a nerve that he can’t quite process or handle comfortably. The man has his own deep seated insecurities that he’s not ready to come to grips with yet, so of course he doesn’t want to read about it. What about those readers though that are gay? That picked up the first book and loved it, even the second and said this is great (I can dream can’t I). And then to pick up ETC and suddenly get very excited that two of the primary characters are right up their alley… and get nada? That’s not right, or fair and I know I’d be rightly irritated by a book that would do that to me. I might not pick up the next one.

Anyway, this of course leaves me with the dilemma of doing research. Don’t judge me for watching gay porn – I swear I have a legitimate excuse. I make no excuses for the other porn I watch 😉 In the process however, I came across the funniest video I think I’ve ever seen – so all of you get to share in my amusement.


One thought on “Don’t judge me

  1. moving home says:

    Looking for ahead to reading extra from you in a while!? Im usually to blogging and i really respect your content.

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