Creative differences

… and poor communication skills. *grumble*

You’d think two writers would be able to get their points across in email. Alas, sometimes this is not the case. I have been going back and forth all day. She’s been talking about one thing, and I’ve been talking about an entirely different thing. So now I wait. Could be persuaded my ass – sorry toots, who’s the one actually working on writing? That’s actually making progress? I think you’ve forgotten that the reason I have these offshoot stories was because I couldn’t get you to focus on anything to make any decisions or write. You got mad at me for writing and contributing because you felt jealous and left out. I didn’t stop you from writing. I was just trying to keep things moving to not waste my life.

So I started a new series, something I could work out without someone attempting to dictate my own creativity to me. Many of the same themes were there, because that’s what I enjoy working with. There were character similarities, because I was trying to replace the ones you were holding hostage with some others I could love and work with easily. Because THIS… writing, creating, breathing life into new worlds and new characters… THIS is what I want to do. This is what excites me and comforts me.

WHY do you have to be the only person on the planet that shares my freaking wavelength?! Why are you the only person that I can talk to about these ideas effectively – because sometimes I’d like to throw you off a building – as I’m sure there are days you’d like to drag me behind a semi. So I’m quite certain we’re equal.

The stories are not about magic, they’re about the characters. It’s about that person’s life – and okay, so they can use magic. Flash, bang, boom – a lot of people enjoy that sort of thing. It’s enchanting, it draws them in. It strikes the simplistic “what if I could do that?” chord in their own imagination. I’m a fantasy/science fiction writer, so guess who I’m catering to?

Oh please oh please don’t let this set the tone to my long weekend. Sunday is already gone because of game. I know Terry is going to try and drag me out Monday to SOMEONE’s memorial day thing. Tonight we’re going out with friends… Can you please just leave me alone with my own overboard ideas and let me write.

 

You’re Wonderful

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these. I swear I’m not sitting here grumbling about being tired and then pushing off actually doing work. But because I’m tired, I don’t necessarily trust the words that spring from my finger tips. And if I keep putting this off and putting it off, then I’ll never get around to actually posting it.

So here is a thank you to all of the wonderful loyal followers and all of the new people that have stumbled across my blog. I truly see my inspiration dwindle when things go quiet on the WordPress front. You continued support means a lot to me.

Valerie Francis

Live Life Love Bacon

Alex

Maris Lyon

Edge of he wilderness

CRJ Pritchard

The Public Blogger

Daniel Gonzalez

Kristen Mazzola

Knightriderche

Linda Petersen

Subsistences Suburb

My Food and Flowers

Dwayne Coleman

Jack Flacco

Curse you MONDAY!

No… no no no, I can’t be getting tired. It’s only 10 oclock! All I have wanted to do today is sit down and write. But today was Monday. 

Now let me point out – I’m usually a fan of Monday. I’m a Cancer, my planet is the moon which rules Monday. But today – SUCKED. Not that anything bad happened, it was just so BUSY! 

It of course didn’t help matters that as I was leaving my first office – I had an idea. Just a simple idea that sprung from the statement “I defer my command.” That kicked my brain into high gear. What would cause Tadden Calavo so much emotional duress that he would hand over command of his ship? A quick answer appeared. I thought it was just vivid, action packed scene. I got home – with no time to sit down and write because I had a board meeting tonight. I quickly pound out the premise of my mental anguish today to send to Nik when it hit me. I had the main plot for a full freaking book. Start to finish. And not only did it kick off the book – but this book would be the one to propel the series into deep space and complete science fiction. 

I quickly saved the information. Instead what I sent to Nikki was the promise of getting to actually read something from start to finish on a draft. I don’t really need ideas, or sound boarding. It all came to me. It was like steam on a window. It started just around the edges, but when I started to focus in on the empty center, it quickly filled itself in. 

Then of course I had to go to my board meeting, then get home and get my son to bed… and now I’m exhausted. I’ve kicked out a measly 1k words and I’m having trouble keeping my eyes open. The creative realm doesn’t like me. I wish I could write in my sleep. 

***

“What do we do?” Glyn asked, his golden eyes wide with worry. Benjery glanced back at his partner. The look on Tadden’s face broke his heart.

“I…” the taller man trailed off as he reached out to the back of one of the command chairs. “I don’t know.” He whispered at last.

“You kind of have to know. We don’t exactly have a long time to think about it,” Harmon pointed out.

“I… I defer command.” Benjery’s eyes snapped back to Tadden in surprise.

“You what?”

“I relinquish my position to Commander Calavo,” Tadden said. His eyes didn’t meet anyone’s as he backed out of the alcove.

“Tadden,” Benjery snapped at the delvish’s back as he disappeared down the steps. It took a moment for Benjery to realize that all present were staring at him. He glanced over at the WAT drive’s countdown.

There were four minutes on the clock.

He let out a frustrated growl as he pushed past where Glyn and Nicholai were standing.

“Give me two minutes,” he gushed as he chased Tadden down the steps and into their quarters. Tadden was on the bed, staring numbly down at the ground.

“What do you think you’re doing? I’m no Captain,” Benjery demanded as he closed the door.

“You are. You’re more than capable of handling this,” Tadden said, his voice was thick and Benjery knew it must be taking quite a bit for his lover to keep back the tears that threatened to show. 

The kid and the ferrets

Just sitting here – decompressing a little bit while my son runs around playing with the ferrets. I would think after an entire day of running around, playing, and swimming that he would be beat – but I swear this child has the energy of a madman. Tell me there’s a way to bottle that and sell it. I wouldn’t have to worry about the money to publish my books. 

I was up till nearly 2 AM last night writing. I was able to write 5k words, bringing my total on Etcetera to 8k. I have two books that have eluded me for years. One of them is the joint project with my friend (KTS) the other… is Etcetera. Originally that was just it’s code name… but I truly am leaning toward that being the actual title. Or – Codename: Etcetera. I have been working on this book for over ten years. Every time I start it, I change it. I’m not just talking little details, I mean major plot points. Whoops, time for a restart. I think this time – I have it though. I’ve been letting the ideas stew in my mind for the last few months since I worked out the details last. The only changes I’ve made are timing – and not even timing that will effect the writing. So when I was able to get into Tadden’s mindset last night, I just couldn’t stop. Until of course I caught myself falling asleep at my computer. I decided I wouldn’t be able to trust what I wrote after that point. 

Tadden has always been interesting to write for. Perhaps even more so with the changes I’ve given him. If I can just stay in right mind set, then I’ll be able to work through ETC while I wait on the proposed revisions for FG. Hooray for killing 2 birds with 1 stone. 

But for now, it’s time to get the kid into bed, run one more errand, and get a shower and PRAY when that’s all done – I’m awake enough to still write tonight. 

Forgive me, my griping…

You know… I was going to sit down and write a post about how I just went to see Star Trek and all that… but I just don’t feel like it. I’m drawing a mental blank… The sound of flat lining echoing in my ear. I’m tired, but I don’t want to go to bed. I’m tired, irritated, frustrated, and edging on listless… but bed is so final for the night. By finally giving up for bed… it means the day is done and morning is around the corner. 

Another long day full of irritations and frustrations that won’t resolve themselves. Things that I can either accept and just live with… or make a change and move forward… What’s the cost, what do you sacrifice for that break? 

So my boyfriend and friend appear to be on the same menstrual cycle. Don’t sit there and tell me that men don’t have that cranky time where you just want to shove their own dicks down their throats and tell them to shut up. So it’s a back and forth over who I’ll be offending and pissing off. 

My boyfriend had the revelation today that he doesn’t possess any excitement or passion. So of course I point out that I’d been trying to tell him this for the last four years and that’s why we have problems. He has all the enthusiasm of a creeping vine. No flourish or enjoyment, but heaven forbid you let go of anything – ANYTHING… Did I mention anything? Living in the past doesn’t get you anywhere but backwards – forgive me for wanting to move forward. 

I haven’t gotten a chapter in over a week. I want to take the editing into my own hands… but that’s where I lack the confidence. I’ve already read the book over a thousand times – if I’ve missed something all of those times, why in the stars do I think I’d be able to catch it this time? Not to mention the different perspective is a boon. I would just like to point out, you can’t argue that your priorities aren’t where they should be… if they’re honestly not. If I WERE a paying customer… I’d be a little perturbed. 

I really believe I could have had my book done by my birthday. A printed copy in my hand before I turned 31. A promise that the last few years wasn’t just a waste of time. But we’re half way through May and not even half way through the book and I KNOW there are changes still to be made. 

I had such a jolt today. I got an email from my cover artist with a draft. It was so beautiful. Sure there were a couple things I asked to be changed… but that’s what drafts are. But to see the progress in just 4 days. I almost started crying when I saw it. To actually SEE it, instead of just imagining it. So close… still so far. 

Image

 

I love it. SnowSkadi has done amazing so far. I immediately changed it to the wallpaper on my phone and I haven’t been able to take my eyes off of it since. It’s like, looking back on it makes everything feel like it’s that much closer to being real. 

Anyway… I think I’m going to go cry myself out to let off steam and give up for the night. I don’t believe anything creative will be coming from my head tonight.