Can I come out of hiding yet?

I should be doing something useful with my time… such as cleaning the few dishes I have, or reorganizing my bedroom… or you know, putting the overflowing hamper of clean laundry away (gracious I hate putting laundry away). And yet here I sit at my computer. I’m frazzled tonight. It was a VERY long Monday. We had most of the week off so we all returned to utter chaos and people needing stuff NOW!

Asshats. 

Not your typical Monday is all. 

I want to write… I just don’t think I have it in me. I want to go to bed. Bed would be delicious right now. Instead, I think I’m going finish this post, maybe jot down a few ideas and start working on the laundry. At least that will be something accomplished this evening. I have it quietly to myself. My counterpart is at a meeting and the small one is 60 miles away with his other grandmother. 

My home is kind of in ruin. I need to get the Christmas stuff put away. I’m so very happy that I didn’t pull it all out this year. I might be crying at this point. As it is, I’m dreading the process. Dragging out the tubs so I can stuff everything back away. returning all the tubs to their home in the shed. 

So a fence was destroyed over the weekend at one of our properties. We figured vandalism, so we contacted the actual owner of the fence; a day care that borders the land. A child of portly size accidentally leaned against this vinyl fence, accidentally popping out nearly a dozen planks. My boss mentioned he was happy his daughter didn’t go to this day care. I pointed out there would be daily attempted pre-k break outs. “Okay butterball, strap on this bike helmet and charge like a linebacker!” Tommy Pickles would have LOVED this place. 

Is it over yet?

So it’s been a year. I took a hiatus I guess? I don’t know – the holidays make it extremely difficult to accomplish anything – ESPECIALLY writing and blogging. Hell broke loose, I fought to entrap it back within its fiery depths (so far successfully). A TON has happened and I don’t even know where to begin. That’s my problem I think – it’s not where to begin… It began years ago… eons ago… It’s where to pick up?

So let’s pick up with the fact that my mother is no longer living with us. Most people would breathe a sigh of relief at a statement like that. In my case I’m just keeping my fingers crossed that she finds peace sometime soon. She lost a leg and is now in a nursing home not far from the house. Between that and her dialysis and the stress, it’s been a weekly battle of “Am I giving up today?” 

This now meant that we can no longer afford the home we live in. Luckily my best friend will be moving up here and renting the now spare room. I was working this afternoon on getting it cleaned out. All of the personal defects are gone, just furniture left. She can arrange as she sees fit.

One stress was removed. The stress of finding a way to North Carolina. You see my ex-mother-in-law – I really need to find something else to call her because that sounds so very awkward – will be buying a large tract of land and either buying or building a home for that land. They will be helping us get up there. Of course I realize it’s still going to be a while, but it’s a start. Something I didn’t have this time last year. 

Every now and then I realize just how easy it would be to let myself be crazy. To lose myself in the fantasy world of my books. I think for, speak for, and react for my characters regularly just to keep them fresh in my mind. Like Jacy for example. She’s the easiest, her and Nicholai. I’ve been working on trying to get into the others heads, figure out how they tick, how they think. Trying to give them distinct personalities. 

I may start keeping a blog for Jacy. For young Jacy. The Jacy that is currently being force-fed zealot rhetoric, before she knows what the world holds. In time, I will be doing this for most of my characters. I think it’s the best way to develop them. Pick a time long before they’re ever introduced, and dissect their lives, hopes, dreams… 

I’m sure you’re wondering where my actual progress is for Forgotten Guardian. It’s not on hold… I’m just waiting for it to come back from the editor… who is my best friend, who is crazy busy with the holidays and life and bs just like me. Soon my minions… I mean, followers… that still sounds morbidly egomaniacal. Instead, my dearhearts that give me strength and hope.