Don’t be cruel

I’m of two minds. Okay, I’m truly of thousands of minds for as often as it changes. Part of me feels I shouldn’t be too hard on myself for my writing. It’s currently not making me money , I have numerous responsibilities, and when I am in the mood, I do really well.

Then there’s the other part of me that berates myself for not dedicating as much time and energy as possible to it. “How will you ever succeed if it’s not your life?” or “Every time you write something, it should be perfect. FFS you’ve been doing it long enough!”

I can be pretty cruel in my head at times.

I’ve sat down and knocked out 3k words in one night. And they’re good. Granted, it’s more back story than anything else. Most likely will never be published in anything but some special edition anthology… but it’s details I need to shape and mold these characters. It’s also like the hundredth time I’ve redone this exact section. This time though… it kind of sounds plausible. It’s upbeat, brings the right people in, flows nicely… This one might stay on the books – with approval of course.

I’ve always found that working with Jacy gets my imagination revving. So I find reasons to write her. I know most of it is just practice fodder, but I mentioned to Nikki how it would be nice to have some of that back story to rely on. So we hammered out a couple of details that will fall between books… and well…. we shall see. Time to knock out a little bit more, and then head to bed.

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