Working in circles

I think all writers can relate to being mind numb. Staring at the screen, hoping and praying for inspiriation or the drive to put thoughts to words. 

I’ve been stuck in writing limbo for a long time now. I know what I need to do… but nothing comes to my fingertips. I can’t buckle down and make myself work on it. This of course isn’t new… and a lot of it I did to myself. It’s still aggrivating though.

My computer recently died on me. The cost to fix it? Well if we could figure out what was actually wrong with it… would probably be more than what the computer is worth. Alas… I haven’t really been using it much to begin with. So I’m working on setting my tablet up to optimize it’s abilities to aid me in writing. 

Now if only I could write…

I have five more chapters in Forgotten Guardian, not to mention the numerous other books that I need to write for the series. I have my local fantasy story I need to work on… But I think that might just be something I retire with one day. In the meantime… well… I’ll get to that. 

You see I had a plan… but I’m a Cancer and I’m changeable… and as always – my plans evolve. I was going to stay here. Keep renting this little place let Ethan go to school, keep working this little dead end job. Terry had pushed things back until June without discussing it with me, so I had pretty much resigned myself to not being able to continue with the work I started. All of it takes me away from Asheville, commuting in a way that isn’t condusive to leaving Ethan alone. 

Murphy was looking for trail jobs. That meant by Spring, he’d be traveling away and I’d be stuck here. Plenty of time to write and tie up loose ends… That way I could maximize what I thought was all the time we had. 

But that wasn’t good enough. I didn’t sacrifice so much this last year to inevitably sit on my ass waiting around for things to get in motion. Waiting for a whole other season to pass me by. So we worked out the details and put a much smarter plan in motion. 

Two years.

Terry signed the contract for two years with a decent pay increase. And I… I’m going to go get some trail work and experience under my belt so what by the time a good local position does become available I would be more qualified for it. 

So I’ve submitted dozens of applications for trail work. I’ve submitted them across the country for the chance at something different. The overall idea… is overwhelming. I wanted to do something with that time away (regardless of where I end up). And I think I have it a pretty solid idea thanks to Bonnie and Murphy. I want to share the magic of the trails with everyone. So for the next year, I will be collecting stories, tips, histories, and everything I can get my hands on and put it in a format that everyone can enjoy.

So no changes just yet. I’ll write when I can. Share when and what I can… and when the time comes, I’ll set everything up.


Impressions to the world

Of everyone we’ll meet in our lifetime, we’ll easily forget seventy-five percent of them. Then there are some we’d like to immortalize.

As a writer, I have the means of doing that. Only I don’t like to try and work that person into the story, but rather my impression of them. I want the world to feel as I did about an individual. 

I’ve had a book to start for a long time. I had a general idea… But no solid plot or characters, save 2. As I was in California, I decided to use some of the people I’ve met since joining ACE for my character constructs. Upon doing this, the story built itself. 

I have a plot, main characters, side arcs… And it all came together in a couple of days. 

That’s not to say I plan on jumping right in to write. I will finish Forgotten Guardian first. I Only have five more chapters, it would be stupid of me to let it fall further to the wayside. 

Books are life

I love to read. I have since I was about eleven. I would burn through 3 or 4 books a month if not more. Getting lost in the world on the page. Falling in love or hating certain characters. 

I haven’t read much these last couple years. I could make excuses, but my heart just hasn’t been in it. 

Well since I haven’t been able to write as much, I’ve picked up books. I’ve read more I  these lat couple of months than I have in the last couple years. Granted, I still have a list as long as I am tall, but it’s a start. 

But it may be about to fade out. I feel I may be getting back to writing mode. Which makes sense. I usually start gearing up for nanowrimo about now. I may have time to finish my draft of fg… And then I’ll start on my pirate story. If I can knock out a good outline, I might be able to compete another year of nanowrimo. 

The ring

I have had a ring for the better part of a decade. I wore this ring nearly every day, never taking it off. It’s a simple silver celtic knot that’s was supposed to encourage creativity. So of course, I’ve worn this ring day in and day out. It’s absorbed every word and emotion and triumph and rewrite… and now. now it appears to be full. 

Now whether it’s all in my head, or it has actually met it’s quota of emotional energy, but I cannot use it. At the beginning of nanowrimo this year I took off my ring and the thoughts flowed. the moment I put it back on, my brain ceases thoughts. 

I don’t know if I need to replace my ring or if I can cleanse and recharge it. It has been a comfort and my hand feels naked without it. 


So… today’s the 1st… of December… When the hell did this happen? Time moves far too quickly, which I suppose should be a blessing considering all of the things I’m looking forward to, but it also means I have to get my rear end in gear.

Though for my month’s hiatus… I did accomplish something.


For those not familiar with NanoWrimo – November is NAtional NOvel WRIting MOnth. You take up the challenge to work on a first draft for a novel and churn out at least 50k words.

Granted, I’m no where near complete, and now I’m bouncing around between three different books at the same time, but isn’t that how the creative process works?

There is no time for slacking off. I MAY be able to finish out a draft of all THREE books before I leave so I can put them in Nikki’s hands and say have a blast tearing them apart over the next six months. I’ll handle any revisions upon my return.

Before the holidays, I WILL get over to the parking garage at USF once a week to tackle the stairs for an hour in the evening. AFTER the holidays my goal is three times a week before heading home. Running just doesn’t seem to be helping, besides, let’s face it, I’m not going to be running on the trails during this outing, I’m going to be climbing and working.


My scheduled posts have caught up to real time. It appears that I have dropped the ball a bit. To be clear, I am not sitting down tonight and scheduling a dozen or so posts, I just thought I’d let you know that there’s going to be a month or so lapse of any activity on my blog.

Why a month you ask?


Perhaps I’m a glutton for punishment… or maybe I’m just determined. You can’t succeed at something any other way – right?

I spent today knocking around ideas for book 2, which is funny because I haven’t finished book 1. I thought I had… but as you know we came up with so many changes that I pretty much scrapped it and have started over. So I could work on Forgotten Guardian, FG2 or my Monster/Steampunk story. For the first time in forever, I have some really good things for book 2 though. I’ve had hundreds of ideas throwing themselves at my brain for the last couple of weeks and I couldn’t sift through them all. Luckily my beloved Nikki agreed to sit with me today and as I unloaded, her reactions varied from dubious to excited. I think it’s FINALLY ready.

I feel like I completely obliterated all of the original things that made up the second book, but I actually didn’t. I actually circled back around to my very very very original idea – which kind of makes sense considering after I changed things it all became horribly convoluted.

Fifty thousand words is chump change when it comes a story… it barely makes up a novella. But actually knocking that out? Well… definitely easier said than done. But if I can work out a beefy outline for FG2, or even complete book one of Monster Squad – then awesome. Oh, yeah – that’s it’s inside joke of a working title. Obviously I can’t run with it because of the 80’s classic, but I’ll come up with something. I’ve tried running with this book for a couple years now, but with the updates I’ve recently made I believe it’s workable now as well.

It might be silly to start these things before I leave… but I’m never going to give up writing. If nothing else, it gives me a center and a focus and an amazing hobby. One day I’ll get published, and even if it takes me another ten years to kneed out the kinks – then the journey will still be an interesting one.

Music fueled internal dialogue

Sometimes… it’s not about coming up with usable content. Sometimes it’s just about spending some time in your character’s psyche. Learning who they are, how they’ll react. Stories change, grow, and transform as you’re writing. Characters take on a life of their own and drive the story out of your control. Hopefully you’re quick enough to keep up with them… if not then you’ll slam face first into the cement they’ve left you stranded on.

If you can find music to lose yourself in, it’s easier to meet your character. A certain note or chord can trigger a kinship to help you connect on a primal level. Turn the music up, tune out the world, and just get to know them. You might discover they story they have to tell is better than the one you thought you were writing.

A lot of what I write or jot down will never appear in a book. It will never actually be used in a story. Much of it is random happenstance that is too good to discard, but outside what’s actually happening.

I’ve never read a lot of manga or comics. I don’t know why – just never really could get into them. (This is funny considering I’m wanting to turn a couple of my story ideas into graphic novels instead of books). Many will have cute little “asides” that have nothing to do with the story. Just little fantastic “what if’s” worked into the margins or a couple of frames. They’re cute, funny, chibi usually… And that’s much of what my character communing really is.

At some point I’d like to imagine Kaidd joining Nicholai in his adventures with the crew of the ETC. Talking a relatively protective Nicholai into anything would take a fair amount of reasoning and far more sass than most people would have at their disposal, but I fell Kaidd could pull it off.

“Let me help you.”

“Kaidd…. no.”

“Just hear me out. I came out here to help and you’ve turned me into a glorified secretary. I get it. I understand that you’re trying to keep me safe. I’m related to our planet’s most famous and infamous men. I’ve had the absolute best physical training that money could possibly buy IF it wasn’t designed exclusively for me. Let’s not forget that I’m just as skilled at subterfuge as you and Uncle Nathan EVER were.

“Yet I’m the unit’s secretary.”

“You understand that our intel, backed up by Doc’s precognition leans towards the mole being a woman. That whomever she approaches is going to have to play the part to the hilt regardless of the part she plays.”

“You’re aware that I’m not unfamiliar with women, right?”

“We don’t need to have this conversation.”

“It’s not like I’m going to fall in love. Besides, I’d be the most likely target if I did join the group.”

“How do you figure?”

“I’d like to point out that while you’re all still good looking men… you’re old. All of you. I’m youthful, and to anyone that doesn’t know me, I’m most likely ignorant. I’m a perfect target,  because let’s not forget I’m also gorgeous. I understand it’s a dangerous mission,  but I’m up to the task.”

“You’re such a jack ass.”

“Well I get it from you. Learned, inherited, the whole nine.”

“Fuck off.”

“Wait, does that mean I’m in? “

“I said fuck off.”

“Yes! I’m in!”