Are we cogs in a machine? Threads on a loom? Or are we really creatures of complete free will guided by nothing?
No matter what your belief, or theory, or faith… we are here. And things happen out of our control or desire. What we can control however, is how we manage these.
I prefer to savor the good moments. A few seconds holding the hand of someone I love. Randomly playing in a pile of fallen leaves. Or sitting on the front porch, drinking coffee and watching the sunrays dance across the dew on a spider web across the yard.
I have my dark moments. When the magnificent shadow smothers me to the point I can’t breathe… sometimes it takes just that glimpse of brightness to remember that I’m stronger than the shadow.
Of everyone we’ll meet in our lifetime, we’ll easily forget seventy-five percent of them. Then there are some we’d like to immortalize.
As a writer, I have the means of doing that. Only I don’t like to try and work that person into the story, but rather my impression of them. I want the world to feel as I did about an individual.
I’ve had a book to start for a long time. I had a general idea… But no solid plot or characters, save 2. As I was in California, I decided to use some of the people I’ve met since joining ACE for my character constructs. Upon doing this, the story built itself.
I have a plot, main characters, side arcs… And it all came together in a couple of days.
That’s not to say I plan on jumping right in to write. I will finish Forgotten Guardian first. I Only have five more chapters, it would be stupid of me to let it fall further to the wayside.
I’m sitting next to Rainbow river in the great smokies right this minute. I’m still in ACE, taking my lunch. It’s August, and the eclipse was yesterday… but I’m writing out blogs for September.
I shuffle scheduling around when I need to… if something interesting happens. But for the most part, I have prescheduled my blog posts for the last year. It makes my life simpler and hopefully provides you with a modicum of entertainment.
By the way… I forgot to pack my apple today. 😦
I cannot tell you how my time in ACE was. I am not a fortune teller… allow me to rephrase that for those who know me. I am not a paid fortune teller and my tarot deck is still down I Florida.
Speaking of tarot cards… I wish I had the money to buy a deck for someone. What I am thinking though is having Terry mail me my unused deck. They never worked right for me… and I always felt your first deck should be given as a gift. A friend of mine, one of the few I’ve made since joining ace, is showing interest in the art. It would be a nice parting gift I feel.
Maybe I’ll even have him mail up my own. With a little practice, maybe I COULD get paid for out. I always lacked the confidence to read for other people, but I don’t know why. I read for myself well enough.
Winding down after a couple of weeks of nothing. Getting ready to dive back into the real world. So after class today, Ethan and I went up to the park. I played around with my watercolor pencils while he ran around like a madman.
It’s fun and relaxing. They’ll never win any awards, but I like painting mountains.
I love to read. I have since I was about eleven. I would burn through 3 or 4 books a month if not more. Getting lost in the world on the page. Falling in love or hating certain characters.
I haven’t read much these last couple years. I could make excuses, but my heart just hasn’t been in it.
Well since I haven’t been able to write as much, I’ve picked up books. I’ve read more I these lat couple of months than I have in the last couple years. Granted, I still have a list as long as I am tall, but it’s a start.
But it may be about to fade out. I feel I may be getting back to writing mode. Which makes sense. I usually start gearing up for nanowrimo about now. I may have time to finish my draft of fg… And then I’ll start on my pirate story. If I can knock out a good outline, I might be able to compete another year of nanowrimo.
I found my Zen today. The rush of the stream, the autumn wind roaring through the changing leaves. One distinct chapter of my life is coming to a close. And while I made what will probably only be facebook friends by and large, I’m overjoyed to have made one amazing connection that will last a lifetime.
You take this moment, and live in it. Find peace in the little things. Accept that your path is already laid out in the tapestry of the universe and enjoy the ride. Many people don’t like to Hear it, but everything happens for a reason.
I get back to Asheville tomorrow. I’m ready to put my life back in play. I feel like it’s been paused for six months, but those six months have taught me more than I’ve learned in the last few years.
The plan is job, home, and life given full attention. There’s too much going on right in front of me to waste time day dreaming about what may or may not happen.
You don’t decide to work on trails for the money. It’s not the notoriety, the appreciation, or the benefits. There’s no real job security and there’s rough competition.
You do it, because you want to hike to work. Because when you have free time, you spend it in the woods. Because you enjoy coming home filthy dirty and exhausted. You do it for the pride, even if no one else ever notices.
You fall in love with it… or you don’t. There’s not really an in between. And once you know this is what you want, you’d do anything to keep doing it.
I’d be content living out my life in the side of the mountains. Swinging in my hammock each night, listening to the birds. Building, renovating and hiking these trails.
I want to teach Ethan what it means to leave no trace. To have the same love and respect for the forest as I do. Then maybe once he’s old enough, he may choose the same rewarding life.
It’s not easy. I’m sore and bruised and bug bitten. I’m covered in dirt and sweat. I eat the same things day in and out. But I’ve never felt more alive. If I could have my family with me, I think I could truly feel whole for the first time in my life.