Tag Archives: science fiction

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Carpe Scribo

I thought for a moment that I should take some time, buckle down and schedule some blogging before I lose myself in writing. But I suddenly find myself in an empty house. I believe instead I shall seize the moment and dive headfirst into science fiction. I have a few things scheduled already, so it’s not a dire need. Cleaning the house up might be… the mess will only get worse before I get around to touching it. But I did the dishes… some of the dishes… whatever, there are other people here.

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flatline

But… but…. but wait! I’m not supposed to just sit here staring at the screen blankly. The words are supposed to mean something. They’re supposed to fit together like puzzle pieces. I have the picture this time to go off of and everything… But the more I read, the louder the background noise in my head gets. The less I comprehend and the more frustrated I get.

I suppose that I hadn’t counted on just how much of the story changed. The outcome is all the same, minimal changes to the future books… but this one. After writing it out so many times… I’m faced with doing it once more. I pray it’s only once more. One last rewrite and some polishing… The outline is all there. Every single section within every single chapter… all spelled out.

Yet I feel like something is missing.

We all had a stressful weekend. First being worried for our friend who was put into the hospital and had to deliver her son a few weeks early. They’re both doing absolutely amazing though. Then my poor old dog Chloe ended up with an abscess on her posterior. In the process of carrying her around to get her to use the bathroom, I mis-stepped and landed hard enough on my knee to hurt the patellar tendon. Fingers crossed that’s ALL it is and that it’s not broken. Time will tell on that one. I’ve got a baby shower to plan for, packing to do, a house to clean…

So of course my brain has checked out at the moment. It kind of goes back to the old thing. Do you write for the sake of writing? It’s forced and disjointed, which just means you’ll end up having to redo it anyway.

I dare not take time off again to try and write. Every time I try this it backfires on me miserably. I’d rather just force myself to sit down. Maybe get back to scheduling. These days between these hours I will be unavailable.

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Don’t be cruel

I’m of two minds. Okay, I’m truly of thousands of minds for as often as it changes. Part of me feels I shouldn’t be too hard on myself for my writing. It’s currently not making me money , I have numerous responsibilities, and when I am in the mood, I do really well.

Then there’s the other part of me that berates myself for not dedicating as much time and energy as possible to it. “How will you ever succeed if it’s not your life?” or “Every time you write something, it should be perfect. FFS you’ve been doing it long enough!”

I can be pretty cruel in my head at times.

I’ve sat down and knocked out 3k words in one night. And they’re good. Granted, it’s more back story than anything else. Most likely will never be published in anything but some special edition anthology… but it’s details I need to shape and mold these characters. It’s also like the hundredth time I’ve redone this exact section. This time though… it kind of sounds plausible. It’s upbeat, brings the right people in, flows nicely… This one might stay on the books – with approval of course.

I’ve always found that working with Jacy gets my imagination revving. So I find reasons to write her. I know most of it is just practice fodder, but I mentioned to Nikki how it would be nice to have some of that back story to rely on. So we hammered out a couple of details that will fall between books… and well…. we shall see. Time to knock out a little bit more, and then head to bed.

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Is it over yet?

So it’s been a year. I took a hiatus I guess? I don’t know – the holidays make it extremely difficult to accomplish anything – ESPECIALLY writing and blogging. Hell broke loose, I fought to entrap it back within its fiery depths (so far successfully). A TON has happened and I don’t even know where to begin. That’s my problem I think – it’s not where to begin… It began years ago… eons ago… It’s where to pick up?

So let’s pick up with the fact that my mother is no longer living with us. Most people would breathe a sigh of relief at a statement like that. In my case I’m just keeping my fingers crossed that she finds peace sometime soon. She lost a leg and is now in a nursing home not far from the house. Between that and her dialysis and the stress, it’s been a weekly battle of “Am I giving up today?” 

This now meant that we can no longer afford the home we live in. Luckily my best friend will be moving up here and renting the now spare room. I was working this afternoon on getting it cleaned out. All of the personal defects are gone, just furniture left. She can arrange as she sees fit.

One stress was removed. The stress of finding a way to North Carolina. You see my ex-mother-in-law – I really need to find something else to call her because that sounds so very awkward – will be buying a large tract of land and either buying or building a home for that land. They will be helping us get up there. Of course I realize it’s still going to be a while, but it’s a start. Something I didn’t have this time last year. 

Every now and then I realize just how easy it would be to let myself be crazy. To lose myself in the fantasy world of my books. I think for, speak for, and react for my characters regularly just to keep them fresh in my mind. Like Jacy for example. She’s the easiest, her and Nicholai. I’ve been working on trying to get into the others heads, figure out how they tick, how they think. Trying to give them distinct personalities. 

I may start keeping a blog for Jacy. For young Jacy. The Jacy that is currently being force-fed zealot rhetoric, before she knows what the world holds. In time, I will be doing this for most of my characters. I think it’s the best way to develop them. Pick a time long before they’re ever introduced, and dissect their lives, hopes, dreams… 

I’m sure you’re wondering where my actual progress is for Forgotten Guardian. It’s not on hold… I’m just waiting for it to come back from the editor… who is my best friend, who is crazy busy with the holidays and life and bs just like me. Soon my minions… I mean, followers… that still sounds morbidly egomaniacal. Instead, my dearhearts that give me strength and hope. 

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Update? Not really

Yeah… so – I got busy. Unfortunately not in the fun kinky way. I know I should have a filter or sensor or something… bu whatever.

Wow… where do I start? You know what… I don’t know. So I’m not even going to put an update here. I’m just going to say I finally finished my final draft. It’s being read now for continuity then going off for proofreading – Fingers crossed, I should have it 100% by the end of the year. 

Otherwise – breaking full bottles of wine over people’s heads sounds like a fun past time and if I don’t find some sort of stress relief soon – that may be my new hobby. 

I don’t think there is such a thing as starting fresh. There is no clean slate, there is no ctl alt delete in real life. There is cut loose with as few losses as you can handle and hope for the best. Geronimo. 

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Ahh… Sunda– never mind I had an idea!

Doors open down the hall. I’m no longer the only one up. This would be good, except when other people are up they’re distracting. Mind you it’s after 8 AM, so they SHOULD be up – but still. 

It’s interesting to watch my word count as I edit my book. I knew after reading it through there were a lot of adjustments to be made. The word count at the bottom climbs a bit, then drops back down as I delete a section. It’s hovering somewhere around 178k. It may decrease, it may not. I’m not very worried about it at this point. I had a bit of repetition in the book that needed to come out. 

You see when trying to juggle everything else with writing, I forget exactly what I’ve covered and how. I also don’t have a memory for details. But I’ve recently read it enough times that I know where I need to take some things out. 

And… I just thought of something to add… Another scene with our antagonist… and Nicholai’s rebuke. A pretty good reason he was so distracted at at the end of the war. Hooray for moments of clarity. Now I have to go write that down. tata.

Aside by

Hello random afternoon thunderstorm. Okay, this is FL, I shouldn’t be that surprised, but still, I am. Today has been one hell of a week. Kicked it off with a sick kid, doctor appointment for my mom meant she had to go to the hospital. Moving along to sick boyfriend and low and behold, sick ass me. Blegh. 

So I sit here, recuperating from a long day. I stuck it out today, I probably shouldn’t have because I feel like crap, but oh well. I’ve used so much sick time lately between my mom, son and self. 

It occurred to me that I have a world created where I can throw around as much lalafrufru magic that I want. We’re talking books here people, keep up. I have centuries of writing to be filled in for what happened on the other side of the veil after the fae from Avalon separated the worlds. Every fairy tale creature just waiting to have a new back story explained. Not so much new, as combining all of the myths. It’ll all come later, and definitely something to do on the side… but I won’t have to hold back. Different series, different set of magic rules. 

Of course it would be smart to finish editing one book before I start writing the next. I wouldn’t say I’ve started writing the next… so much as getting ideas out. I’m still floundering from lack of inspiration and I just don’t know why. Fatigue, stress, depression – who knows. I just wish I could pull myself out of this slump.

I’d say let’s keep going, but I think I’m going to go lay down while I listen to the storm. Maybe a bit more sleep. Once I’m no longer sick and coughing, I’ll try working again. 

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A new thank you

Just a quick thank you for the new people that have liked or followed my blog in the last couple months. Since I haven’t been posting that much, I haven’t had that many updates. But your support still means a lot!

cvilleWinter
Michael Armstrong
WordsEngineer
Phillip Johnson 
MoneyEqualsLifestyle
Nodak92
Russel Deasley 
Glenn Folkes 
Sterling Arthur Leva 
WeListenToMaryMagdelene
Dieter Rogiers 
MagicThought
Nora Hyde 
Drew Iaconis 

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Options

I have found that the biggest mistake you can make, whether it’s writing or editing, is stopping in the middle of what you’re working on. Get through your full draft, push through that boring editing. The moment you stop in the middle – everything just fizzles away.

Life jumps up impatiently and says “do this, go here, discover this… oh yeah, and forget that.” Whatever momentum you might have had built up just trickles away like the tide retreating back to the ocean. And until that swell returns, you might as well forget being able to pick back up where you were. 

A big part of me wants to try and knock out a draft of my other book. The pragmatic side however keeps urging me to focus on one thing at a time. My brain has never enjoyed working on one thing at a time, so even that is a trial in itself. 

Will I be able to get Forgotten Guardian published though? I’ll be able to pick it back up and have it done before the end of the year. Short of planning for Terry’s birthday now, there’s not really too much to get in the way. Well of course the usual. Ethan’s school, work, holidays – daily crap that comes and goes. 

My boy came home today. He came rushing out of the house when I got home from work, only to immediately ask if he could go play with his friends. I went out of my way to make him his favorite dish, and he only ate like 3 bites. He was anxious and excited though – things will be better tomorrow I’m sure. 

I have a hope – that sounds moronic – whatever. I have an expired IUD. Well what I didn’t realize is that one of the side effects from these IUD’s is weight gain. So I’m planning on getting it removed and hoping to high heavens to discover that’s the reason I haven’t been able to lose any weight since Ethan was born. It would make sense. With as few calories as I consume and as much energy as I expel, there is NO reason I shouldn’t be able to lose weight unless there is another factor. So I’m keeping my fingers crossed there.

Otherwise… I’m sitting here thinking I’ve been giving into sleep too willingly. It’s not quite ten thirty and I’m ready to retreat to the bedroom and pass the blazes out. *sigh* I have to not only be able to stay up till at least 11-11:30, but still be able to get up at 6:30. Otherwise I will never be able to accomplish anything.

Get up early, work out a little bit – get the kid ready for school, me ready for work and head out. Work – duh. Get home, make dinner, eat, family time, clean up, go for evening walk/run. Get boy cleaned up, clean up kitchen, do whatever laundry. Kid to bed by 9. That means the only time I have to do anything is between 9 and ______ whatever the hell time it is I give up and die with my pillow. Those few hours need to be my most productive. 

I suppose my other alternative would be go to bed about 9-10 and get up early. Do whatever morning work out routine I designate and then try to do my writing in the AM. I tend to think better in the morning. By the end of the night I’m ready to dig my eyes out of my skull. I suppose I’ll see if I can work on getting up at a time even the birds find obscene.